brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
