I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
