you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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