Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
All I want is dick and wine.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
