Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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