worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Houston, we have a squirter
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
