Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
