My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
