So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
