think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize