Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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