the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
