Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
