you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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