Cold hands, warm shart.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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