he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
