so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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