OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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