I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
