he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
