So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
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Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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