I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize