he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
