my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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