She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
