At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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