I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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