call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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