office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
