last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
