Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This house was built for laser tag.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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