I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
