dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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