Can i not drive my cunt home
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
