i think my tv is drunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize