I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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