Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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