you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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