Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
