There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
