can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize