Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
