I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
