i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
