last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
