dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
