Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
