you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize