Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
