is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
