whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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