I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
