she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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