The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
