R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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