Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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