fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
