i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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