After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I could have mohawked her pubes.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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