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We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
