i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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