whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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