I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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