...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
